For now


My books got here last Monday and there’s much happiness and excitement surrounding them. I really should have blogged last week so that the joy of receiving my books wouldn’t be dampened by the events of this week… ‘cos today I really just need to rant. I think I have bottled so much up and can’t really find anyone to talk to. It’s always that same problem, isn’t it? Everyone has their problems and I don’t want to add to theirs or make it seem like mine is worse. I know it’s such a self-centred way of thinking because truth is, people are often more willing to hear me out than I gave them credit for. I guess I’m just not in a very good place right now.

Writing has saved me many times, and as I write this, I cannot deny that it still does. It’s such a relief to see my thoughts, feelings, everything on paper/screen/napkin and realise I’m not going mad. Time and again, the past has shown me that this will pass. I just need to trust the process. I need to get it out.

On Saturday, a fellow teacher-volunteer shared with me that she was leaving her job… to “do her thing”. She talked about all the things she wanted to do when she finally had time and I was really happy for her. I warned her about the potential feelings of inadequacy and the loss of identity, and she was glad to hear about this rarely-talked-about side of quitting your job and being on your own. She thanked me and asked how I did it. After the conversation, I sat there thinking about how I didn’t really have anyone to talk to when I first left my job to “do my thing”. I couldn’t talk to stay-home moms (hey, looking after a kid is more than a full-time job). I couldn’t talk to real entreprenuers because… um, they have real businesses while I’m just writing a book. I know I know, it’s a self-esteem issue. But those feelings of inadequacy are real, and many times, the fear just eats me up. To those in full-time jobs, I was living a dream. They envied me. But I felt so lost most of the time, I didn’t know if what I was doing was correct and how I should be managing all these negative feelings. In turn, I envied them for their regular paychecks and paid medical consultations. “But you had those and you left them behind to pursue THIS, why are you looking back?!” my mind would shout at me.

I’ve actually got over those feelings and I’ve been really content and happy for a long while now. But I think some of those feelings and negativity are being re-visited this week. I’m emotional, I think the book I wrote is rubbish, and I’m so, so tired.

The tummyache started last Thursday after I wolfed down three-quarters of a bag of chips. (It probably sounds like a bad idea to you but I do it all the time and, no problem.) The pain continued on until Sunday, with diarrhoea and lots of gas each day. It was not pleasant. The ache became less severe by Monday, and that made me happy, but by night-time, I developed a sore throat. I started feeling the first twinge of anger. First, stomach gas pains and now, this itchy pain in my throat? Instead of sleeping, I stayed up guzzling water and sucking on lozenges. I was bent on getting rid of the pain. I slept in the next morning and felt better when I woke up. I was looking forward to getting some work done and did manage to until I had to stop because I was getting a bad headache. I then also realised it was the time of the month. I was getting some mild cramps in the abdomen and I knew I shouldn’t push my body further so I headed to bed earlier than I had planned. On Wednesday, when I woke up, I got ready to work but the cramps became severe and I had to lay in bed. I also postponed an appointment I had that afternoon. By late afternoon, the cramps were so bad and the pain unbearable I popped panadol. I woke up today with mild cramps and after trying to make lunch for myself without bending over in pain, my husband sent me to bed with pillows and a book. The pain eventually subsided in the late afternoon and I could finally sit at my computer to do some work and also, write this. During certain moments throughout this past week while I lay in bed wishing the pain away, I wondered about people who live with pain every day of their lives. How do they manage the pain and their emotions? I have various pains for just a week, and it’s driving me insane. I haven’t been able to get much work done, I can’t go out of the house, I can’t do anything except lie in bed (and check emails on my phone). There is a full-day workshop tomorrow which I had signed up for and was very much looking forward to, but I’m so beaten that I don’t feel like going for it. What is wrong with me?

Perhaps it was that phone call I had this afternoon, where the girl informed me that if I were an organisation, the company would likely have no problems sponsoring their products for the book launch. But since this was a “personal book launch, if you don’t mind me saying” (her exact words), she will have to check with her team.

I’m a nobody. Thanks for the reminder.

I know I’m taking it the wrong way, I’m just tired. Let me be, for now.


Serving in Phnom Penh Week 2, 3, and being home

Faith, World

It has been a month since we left Cambodia, and my memories of our experience are getting a little fuzzy. In the midst of luxury, it’s hard to recall what it’s like to walk bare footed among chicken poop.

On one of the days at the province church, the teachers organised a combined session for the children. It was Women’s Day (8 March) and in Cambodia, it’s recognised as a public holiday. The children from the different classes gathered for a time of games, songs, and learning. That gave us the opportunity to not only know the children better, but also to interact with the teachers.


Our last weekend in Phnom Penh was spent playing tourist in the city. We went to a crafts & food fair, which was set up not far away from Tuol Sleng genocide museum (also famously known as S21), and also visited the riverfront.



Many of the stalls were selling handmade items, but two businesses in particular stood out to me. I found Angkor Bullet Jewellery especially meaningful as they make beautiful wearable jewellery pieces from bullet casings and bomb shells collected across the country. The owner of the business, Chantha, told us that as a designer, he believed this was a way to show that Cambodia is rising up from the tragedy of its past.



The other business definitely worth a mention was L’Irrésistible, a brand of jams run by Action Cambodge Handicap. These jams are made and bottled by people with autism and intellectual disabilities. I happened upon this brand at a supermarket but didn’t know of its story until I stopped by their stall at the fair. The sale of these jams not only provide the people with jobs, but also help to sustain Action Cambodge Handicap, which offers these people a safe place to stay and work.

Later in the day, we made our way to the Royal Palace. We didn’t go in, but stayed outside where lots of local families were gathered on the lawn and benches. Hawkers came by peddling ice cream, balloons, snacks. Flocks of birds flew about in the air.

We took some photos and then crossed over to the riverfront.  We strolled along the Tonle Sap, passing families with kids, dating couples, and groups of young men playing Sepak Takraw.


Eventually, we came to the end of the beautiful footpath and found ourselves in front of a night market. The music was loud, the crowd was a giant writhing mass, but out of curiosity, we entered and discovered that all the way at the back of the market was this open-air courtyard flanked by food stalls on all sides. Ground sheets were already laid as an invitation for people to sit and eat. It looked like one huge picnic.


Over the next few days, we tried the food at different places, including a beer garden. I might do a separate post on the eateries and cafes we visited.

The last couple of days before we flew home was spent mainly at the province church. By this time, we had come to know the local teachers fairly well and I really liked them. The children had also begun to trust us and I often found myself on the receiving end of excited Khmer chatter, of which I did not understand. I had also grown comfortable with the rural environment and quite enjoyed the company of chickens scuttling about my feet.


I hope, by the grace of God, I have served the people well. And I hope I return soon.


Serving in Phnom Penh Week 1


We have been in Phnom Penh for about 1.5 weeks now. Thanks to Revd Steven and Gwen who have helped so much in getting us settled in, we are familiar with the neighbourhood and have got into a rhythm of the life here. It’s hard to believe that in another 1.5 weeks, we will be leaving and heading back home.

R and I go to the province church three times a week to help with the English classes that have just started. I help to create materials and learning resources, and during the lesson, I conduct English word games. R takes photographs and videos, and also helps to train the current teachers in their lesson delivery and class management skills.


Outside of work, we have explored a bit of the neighbourhood we’re staying in and found that it’s teeming with eateries, cafes, and supermarkets. One of the food places we frequent is a stall that serves rice and dishes. For US$2, you get to choose a dish of your liking, which can be vegetables, meat, or soup. It is served with a pot of rice, of which you can eat as much as you can, and a pot of tea, of which you can drink as much as you can. The food is great and we have been going there almost every day.


We also visited a couple of cafes for drinks and desserts and a number of supermarkets to compare prices of snacks and yoghurt. On one of the days last week, we walked around Russian Market and most recently, we headed down to Aeon Mall to catch the movie Red Sparrow.

To move around, R downloaded PassApp, which enables us to book the new tuk-tuks. It works just like Grab and Uber. Prices are reasonable and it gets us places without us having to haggle for a better price.


These new tuk-tuks are smaller in size compared to the traditional tuk-tuks, ferrying a maximum number of three instead of six, but since there are just the two of us, we have no problems using the new tuk-tuks.

We’re back from our 2.5 week trip!


And it’s already February! It’s the second month of the year, already?! In 10 days, it’d be Chinese New Year, and before we know it, it’d be March. Whew.

R and I arrived in Singapore last Thursday after visiting Cambodia and Thailand. I think we enjoyed being on the road but we’re also glad to be home.

I started playing a mobile game, and it’s been consuming a fair bit of my time. Not very wise, since I have a number of deadlines to meet, but this is my first time being addicted to a game so cut me some slack?

First times

Our home, Singapore

I experienced a number of firsts in the past week.

Last Tuesday, I ran my first giveaway on Post A Posy. It was fun but absolutely nerve-racking (what if no one participated?!). Thankfully people did and two winners were chosen at the end of the night to receive a posy each.

On Thursday, I met with the team behind #SG4Diversity Inclusion Festival. It was my first time being so closely involved in such a huge event.

Over the past few days, I have been occupied with PR and marketing. This is my first time creating and scheduling so many posts within such a short period of time. It happened to coincide with the changes that FB made to its algorithm though, and so I’m not sure if my efforts would pay off.

Last night, the only toilet in our house continued to have problems flushing and so, I called a plumber for the first time in my life.

It’s 2018!

Book matters, Faith, Our home

It has been a little too long since I blogged. Ever since R and I came back from Yangon, it has been busy busy busy. We packed 1,700 gem jars for the Singapore Jewellery & Gem Fair and exhibited over four days at said fair in October. I attended a missions conference, met with various people about my book, attended a couple of workshops and seminars, kept the deadlines for the editorial assignments I had accepted, and all these while, I was also keeping up with the progress of my book. It has been such a journey and I can’t quite believe that I can now say that the book is finally, officially, in the layout stage.

2017 has been quite a year. R and I got married! We also got our house at the same time. We went on honeymoon in Taiwan, attended church camp in Malacca, and went on a mission trip to Cambodia. I don’t know how we did it but we found time to clean up our house, settle in, and make it home. Barely two months after however, we were off again, this time to Yangon. I can only say, God was the one who blessed us with the strength and the opportunities to do so much.

It’s now the second week of 2018 and whatever I do, wherever I go this year, the Lord is with me. I’m thankful, content, and so very excited, all at once.

Yangon Day 9 to 11: Shopping and Packing


The last three days in Yangon were spent in a more lazy fashion, with much time afforded to sleeping, shopping and dining.

We were again at Bogyoke Market and this time, we stumbled upon a side alley where men and women were huddled in small groups either along the road or over small tables with snacks and tea. We soon realised that many of these were part of the gemstone trade. People were simply buying and selling gemstones on the street.


We also visited a street that was presumably known as the place that gem dealers hawk their precious wares. In a makeshift stall located at the end of the street, R found some stones that he had been looking for and we spent a fair bit of time looking through the array of items on display.

Back at Bogyoke market, I joined Mel to look at Chin fabrics while R went to look at more gemstones. At Yoyamay, we bought pouches, cushion covers and a throw made of handwoven fabrics.

I had wanted to visit some furniture shops, but with R being unwell for a couple of days, we didn’t quite make it to any on this trip. On our last night though, we came across a “gift shop” which sold homewares and at a pretty affordable price too. It was really an accidental find as we were supposed to meet Mel for dinner at a restaurant next door and simply wandered into this shop out of curiosity.

It was more of a shop selling handcrafted goods than a “gift shop”. I bought some chopsticks (how Chinese am I?!), a rattan basket, and R bought a magnet that is now stuck on our refrigerator at home. I do like the products in this shop and may return on our next trip.


One of the things we ate during those last few days was chicken biryani. It was way more oily than the version we get in Singapore but the smell and the taste were so good.


Our last dinner in Yangon was at Sofaer & Co. Opened just few months ago, it’s a beautiful restaurant that serves fusion Burmese dishes. The interiors were so pretty.


We couldn’t leave without having mohinga again so we decided to have it for breakfast on our last morning.

Yangon Day 5 to 8: Adventures In and Around


We are now back in Singapore and feeling slightly unsettled by an unpleasant incident that had happened with the Burmese customs. Aside from that, the trip was still a good one and I’m gonna jot down some highlights of days 5 to 8.

I accompanied R to the Professional Development Conference on Day 5. He was there to speak on his topic “The Teacher’s Toolbox”. It was eye-opening for me to be at a professional event and I learnt a few things observing and speaking with people.


The next day, I took the train up to an area away from the city to visit a special school called Eden Centre. I had already scheduled a time with the staff some days prior. They brought me around to see the classrooms and the different children, teachers and staff who work there.

Eden Centre is privately run and supported by donations. As I walked around, I remember feeling very impressed with the work that was being done. The centre deals with global delay, autism, cerebral palsy, down syndrome, and takes in children from ages 0 to 18. There are physiotherapists, occupational therapists, and a training manager. There is a training room and even a hydrotherapy pool. I left the centre feeling heartened by what I saw and experienced.


Across those few days, Mel also brought me around to some pretty cool places, like 50th Street Bar and Pansodan Art Gallery. We had ramen at a Japanese restaurant, bought fresh flowers from the night market for her house, and had Shan noodles at the almost-famous 999 Shan Noodle House.


She took an afternoon off work to take me cycling on an island. Locating the jetty and getting on the right boat were enough of an adventure in themselves, so much that I was ready to go home by the time I landed on the island. We eventually spent about 2.5 hours on the island.


This island, called Kanaung To, comprises just one main road and many little villages connected by small winding paths. A local woman loaned us the use of a bicycle for two hours and so we were able to cycle around and explore the land. The kids were very curious to see us, staring and waving as we passed.

The next three days were spent seeing more of the city and shopping at Bogyoke market. More in the next post!

Yangon Day 1 to 4: Energy Within the Chaos


We have been here in Yangon, Myanmar for over a week now. This city is gritty, chaotic yet beautiful and bubbling with so much energy and enthusiasm at the same time.


One week isn’t long, but neither is it too short to fully experience a city. Our first three nights were spent in a B&B in downtown Yangon. On our first day, we walked down Strand Road, made a turn and came across a large night market, full of hawkers selling food and makeshift stalls peddling all kinds of items.


As we walked on, we found ourselves at Maha Bandula Park and not far off, was the Sule Pagoda. It stands as an island in the middle of a roundabout, splendid and shimmering.


We met up with a Singaporean friend who lives in Yangon, who took us to dinner at Shan Yoe Yar, a popular restaurant serving Shan cuisine. We had Shan noodles and shared additional dishes. One egg dish, in particular, was absolutely delicious.


The second and third day were spent gem shopping at Bogyoke Market and the Gem Museum respectively. R managed to meet his Burmese gem dealer friend and I suspect that he will be meeting her again before we leave.


We also went to Junction City, the newest mall to open in Yangon, and Myanmar Plaza, one of the city’s largest malls. Stepping into these malls was like being transported back to Singapore — great if you need a respite from the chaos, not so great if you need a respite from Singapore.

We met up with Mel, another friend who lives in Yangon, and she introduced us to some local food places she frequents. One of these was Lucky Seven, where we got to try mohinga, milk noodles and prata. Yes, like Singapore, Myanmar has prata too.



In the evening, she brought us to a local beer garden to have barbecue and drinks. By the the third night however, we succumbed to our Singaporean taste buds and had Aston’s for dinner.

We moved to a hotel on our fourth day, choosing it for its proximity to the city centre as R was going to have a number of meetings there. Much of the day was then spent catching up with work before we had hotpot dinner and retired to our room.

The next few days became some of the most interesting experiences I’ve had in Yangon. I attended a conference, visited a special school in the outskirts, and even went cycling on an island. More in the next post.

Adapting, learning, flying


It’s the third week now and tomorrow, we’re leaving for Myanmar. I’m doing a number of different things and the days are starting to blur into one another. I figure I should jot down my thoughts before I start feeling like I haven’t accomplished anything this past week.

I’ve been fixing the items I got from IKEA. Last Friday, I cleared the study room and put together two desks. Fixing those desks was hard work. On Tuesday, I put up aluminium shelving units in the utility room and tidied the space.

Work wise, I’m also filing online stories and pitching ideas to more publications. On Monday, I attended a Personal Branding workshop. It was more to support R but it was a good opportunity to network anyway. Interestingly, I met a lady there who is an advocate for those with dementia, and another lady who is a mother of a child with autism. I will probably arrange to meet each of them when I’m back from Myanmar, if they are willing.

I will have the house, specifically the kitchen, cleaned by today so that our vacant apartment will not be attracting unwanted visitors. I also need to pack my luggage. The time this week has simply flown by and I can’t believe it’s already Thursday.